guilt and motivations.

so, this falls into a rather miscellaneous pile of posts. don't even know.

today, my dad guilted me into doing something, namely clean the car because i accidentally dented it while driving it out of the garage (oops). i already felt horrible about doing that, and he guilted me into doing it again. come to think of it, lots of what my parents want me to do comes from guilting me into it. guilt is a great feeling for helping to expedite the apology process and whatnot, but using it to manipulate people into doing what you want them to? that's just outright horrible. maybe that's why i'm constantly doing things that get me and my parents into shouting matches. maybe that's why i'm so eager to go out of state--to get away from all of that.

some things that they've guilted me into  i don't regret--coming to interlake for instance. i've met some truly amazing people, made so many memories... i don't want to leave this time. but as we move forward, i find myself wanting to run away more--to be free.