muse:martin.

the little post cards! they were so fun to write. i read mine aloud in class but yeah, i wanted to post it here because it was fun to write and yeah. i want to remember it question mark.

muse:
running through the woods, breathless, briars reaching with insistent hands at her clothing almost whispering, "slow down, my sweet, slow down." she screams before something trips her and makes her fall on her bad leg. the pain jerks her awake, and janet eyes the sterile white hospital room around her. her ankle throbs in rhythm with the heart monitor. sighing, she clutches her head. what got her in here? oh, right. martin.

honestly, it had started out like any other day. she woke up grumpy, ate breakfast grumpy, and went to school grumpy. all the previous night before going to bed, she had vowed that she wouldn't do anything stupid in front of him (and hopefully, this didn't count). martin had said "hi" to her from across the courtyard and janet had been so happy and enthralled that she missed the first step of the descending stairs. then the next, and the next, and suddenly she was close friends with pain and the ground. martin, being the nice guy he was, offered to drive her to the hospital. yes, this was all his fault.

pss:start, i don't want to live. stop, i don't want to die. (limbo)

another one.

this one i think is very applicable to teenagers--sometimes we just fall into a rut but we're too scared to take any definite action. if any of y'all need someone to talk to, please know that i am here for you.

pss:alternate title:limbo
drake wasn't sure about anything, ever. he was one of the most indecisive of people. his hair was cut strangely because he decided halfway through his haircut that no, he didn't want his hair cut like that. people don't cut him any slack for it, especially since the "people" are just every day high school students. the shirts he wears are always draped over his shoulders haphazardly--a strong wind could shake them off. he walks slowly in his tight jeans, head down and not really taking in any information. his right shoe is black, the other is orange, simply because he can't decide which pair he wants to wear. but they're both the same size, so he just puts one of each on. people make fun of him for that too.

drake doesn't have any headphones to drown out all of the outside noise. he just shuffles around, eyes staring holes in the ground, and always by himself. he never lets anyone get too close, because drake has a secret (or so he thinks): he's going to commit suicide one of these days. he doesn't want to hurt anyone, so he doesn't talk to a single soul for fear of pressing the stop button on his plans.

but drake can't really ever fully go through with his plan--he always chickens out. each night, as he stands facing his lopsided reflection in his dirty mirror, he takes the pills out of his cabinet. he's pressed the start button, and it's just such a habit. he takes out double the dose recommended (they're painkillers) and the small milky orange-red pills spill into his hand. he's about to down them all when his hand involuntarily slaps the stop button repeatedly. it's almost as if he's just spelling out a message for himself: i don't want to die, i don't want to die, i DON'T WANT TO DIE. it's cryptic and it's scary, and the little bits of death fly out of his hand onto the floor. he collapses in a tearful heap on the tiled bathroom floor to be heard by nobody. his mother has long since left his family, and his father is never home.

i don't want to live, he always says to himself. but i don't want to die, either.

emotionpile (ep):forgiveness

you've told me about yourself.
you've risked yourself, and put yourself on the line, telling me these things.
you've also told me about me.

i know you've taken some things back.
you've denied some.
but there's that one you haven't taken back that keeps itself buried in my heart. like a dagger.

someone said to forgive you.
and i can't tell you enough.
i forgive you.
i do, i do, i do.

please, just come back and make things right.
i miss you.

muse:collateral

just a muse today.

muse:
the fact that he knew so many people was his downfall. when they were attracted to each other or there was a fight, he was always in the middle. he could never stand up for himself, assert that he was not part of the problem and step out of the way. he hated being in the middle of the conflicts, but there was no real way out. he was collateral damage every time. words flew like bullets, and he would take every single one. and when the dust settled and peace was finally made, he rose from the ashes to perform his duty yet again. he dreaded the next fight, but he knew that ultimately if his role as collateral benefited others, than it was something he had to continue. so regardless of the many times he fell, regardless of how much he never wanted to get up again, he stood. it was for the others, he kept telling himself. all for them, and the sake of their love.

first post, first impressions, first short? mayhaps. oh, and some rules.

rules:
capitalization is null and void. unless you really really want to.
punctuation is art.

music of the day:
it's disgusting how i love you. -ke$ha

first day of the fiction class!
we read "cat in the rain" today by ernest hemingway. i thought it was an okay short story (although my favorite part was the italian, because i understood a good portion of it). the characters were believable as was the scenario. in essence, i think hemingway did a good job of making a story out of the mundane.

i am so excited for this class! the ability to be able to create a world out of words... it's amazing. and that's what we get to learn. :)

muse:
she thinks it's entirely disgusting. after being known all these years as a heartbreaker, she was falling headfirst in love with him. but it wasn't like the other times. he brushed away all the bad habits. every time she tried to run, he would yell, "red light!" and just like the children's game, she would stop right in her tracks. green light, and she would come back to him, one more bad habit broken. she's been trying to run for almost a year now, but she just keeps on falling back into the same pattern. she used to be a bandit. a heart snatcher. but now... now, she's a hopeless romantic. so... maybe it's not entirely disgusting. frightening? truly.