create.

a warm welcome to the blog. here is where you can follow my thoughts and musings on the craft of creating a world from words. through the muses and stories, i hope that you'll be able to learn a little more about me. feel free to leave comments on the blog telling me what to improve, or what you liked. happy reading!

3.27.2011

as prompted by tumblr anon... (apbta): the importance of emotion. without explicit content.

 okay, yeah, without porn, you guys are funny. ;)
Prompt:

Write something in which I can get a feel for the character's mood without you explicitly stating it. Like, say you are, for whatever crazy reason, writing about a tweenager going to a Justine Beaver concert. She is excited, but nowhere in the story do you write: "I'm so excited!" she exclaimed. "OMG JUSTINE BEAVER THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER." Nowhere do you write, "Mommmm thank you sooooo muchhhhhh how did you know i loved justine beaver gweeehehee!?"(I know this is a bad example, because an unsubtle tweenager is VERY OOC)Anyways. Subtle description that conveys mood.You are not allowed to describe sadness because that is easy.
 jane swings the door of the store. her mother chatters incessantly on her cellphone, and jane just pushes her curly brown hair behind her ear as she goes hunting for what she's here for. she bustles through the store, rushing by small displays of trinkets.

where are they, where are they?!


she looks left and right, up and down. a store clerk spots her in the hustle.

"'scuse me miss, can i help you?"

jane taps her feet, crossing her arms.

"i'm looking for a cell phone charm. it has to be suitable for a guy, though."

the clerk frowns in concentration, her eyes going slightly upwards towards the ceiling.

"well, the first thing that comes to mind is hello kitty, which isn't really very manly to be honest with you."

jane tosses her head, rolling her eyes.

"can you help me or not?"

the clerk purses her lips.

"well... we have some jade phone charms over in the back corner..."

"thanks," jane mutters as she pushes her way past the woman who is cemented to the spot. as she reaches the box, her heart starts to beat faster and her hands go a bit clammy.

what will look the best?


jane had picked presents before, but this was a totally new experience. and when she finally did pick out the small charm (a round stone with the carving of a fox in it), she still fidgeted.
---
it wasn't until the birthday party came that jane really started paying attention to the phone charm again. she took a slow breath as she got out of her car. she trudged to the doorstep. trembling, she reached for the doorbell. as the chimes inside signaled her apparent doom, she shivered. the door snapped open.

"jane? hey, i'm glad you could make it!"

david smiles at her and ushers her inside. he looks at the carefully wrapped box.

"is that for me?"

she nods dumbly, aware of her face flushing a deep red.

"i'm really impatient, so i'm going to just open it right now, i hope it's fine."

her head moves again. david shucks the blue patterned wrapping paper to the floor and has the small box open in a flash. his mouth opens in a small "o" as he holds the phone charm in his hands.

"jane, it's beautiful," he breathes. "i love it."

and suddenly, a giant weight is lifted from jane's shoulder as she responds.

"i'm glad you like it."

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