muse:last

le sigh.

muse:
i know that i shouldn't read into it. i really do. but after the phone calls from ___ stop coming, the fond glances and smiles stop lighting up my day, i can't help but suspect that i've done something wrong. but what, really? what have i done? a couple hours on the phone with ___, laughing and being distracted from homework isn't that bad. i get my stuff done regardless--even though i'm up late. it doesn't matter to me... what matters is just being there for ___, just any amount of time with ___.i didn't count ___ on leaving, i didn't count on staying and waiting, i didn't count on any of this changing. i knew that it'd have to end sometime, but i didn't realize that it'd be so soon. i don't want to have a last moment with ___, a last call with ___, a last conversation with ___, a last anything with ___. i want to be ____ first moment, ____ first call, ____ first conversation, ____ first everything. i've never been this for anyone--but for ___ of course i'd try.