muse:memories

a little different from the other muses, but a muse still. inspired by "don't want an ending" by sam tsui. please go listen to it, it's amazing.

muse:
i've sent you a letter from halfway around the world. a photo is enclosed, my smiling face looking up at you. a woman is with me in the background, and you deduce from the matching bands on our fingers that we're married. you smile yourself, happy that i've finally found someone to share life with. you pull open the crumpled, yellowed paper. you can practically hear my voice as you read the words. the writing comes to life and flies off the pages, and suddenly i'm before your eyes.

"hey you," i greet affectionately. i beam, my eyes crinkling shut before i hug you tightly. "i haven't seen you in like, what. forever?" i giggle. (or is that you inserting that from your impression of me?) "i miss you. a lot. as you can probably see, i'm married now. but i miss you. i miss my best friend." my face falls as i pull away, you can hear it through my writing, you can hear the sigh before i continue with my voice faltering. "i'm really sad that we had to fall apart like this after high school." but then i perk up. "but i'm really glad that we've been able to keep in touch throughout these years. your handwriting is still as neat as ever."

you snort, making a soft comment about how your handwriting can't even compare to mine. mine's dynamic, you say. it's all over the place, it's just so you. i nod before continuing. my voice can't stop breaking, though.

"i just wanted to tell you what i should've told you before." your heart seizes as your eyes jump ahead in the letter. i hug you again, pressing myself close to you. "i know you're freaking out, i know. but please don't." your eyes roll and you can hear me smile again. "i'm really sad that we couldn't spend enough time together. we found each other so late in the game. but i wouldn't undo it, i think that's when we were supposed to meet." i unwrap my arms from you, but i'm still close enough to feel your heartbeat. "what i regret is not being able to spend as much time as possible with you. i held myself back with all that drama (i know you're agreeing with me with that goofy smile of yours) and when we finally were on the same page, i couldn't bring myself to do anything. so the memories i have of you hurt me. they're the ones that we made inadvertently, the ones made by accident. singing in the hallway, working on projects, just getting to know each other. laughing about ice cream, having late night talks. i really wish i could do this all over again. i wish that i could have more time with you, time with just us. time to hang out, time to make memories to fill this empty book. time to make memories so that when i finally had to let go of you, i could do it with a tearful smile, saying that we've had our time together. i--" and the words are abruptly cut off, splashes of rust-smelling liquid on the page. you blink a couple times before realizing what they are. your breath catches in your throat. just one more day. just one more day. just one more day, that's all i need. you close your eyes, and once you open them again you're with me in the hallways of our high school. the leaves are turning flaming gold, brilliant crimson, and other colors of autumn. you pull me close, breathing in my scent.

"just one more day with you," you whisper. "if i could, that's all i'd need."